The Urban Outfitters Debacle

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Aside from hyping a product to unfathomable heights in order to sell it and profit, what is the most important thing about maintaining a good retail presence?  Customer service, consistency and delivering on your word.  You need to maintain a sense of symbiosis with your customer base and not, ya know, piss them off to the point that they never want to use your services again, right?

Well, let’s just say Urban Outfitters, who had been hyping the shit out of the fact that they would begin selling the much sought after, beyond elusive NES Classic Mini Edition for weeks, broke all of those rules and spit in their customer’s faces just to add insult to injury and they are getting their asses handed to them for it.

So, when did this shit-show start?  Urban Outfitter first announced they would be getting stock of the NES Classic Mini Edition on Dec. 6th via Instagram and ONLY Instagram.  That … “Gram?” … “Insta?”.. whatever the fuck you call an Instagram post, is now gone into the ether of the internet.  But the hipster jeans, ironic mustache website wasn’t done and hyped on Twitter several days later by tweeting this:

They weren’t fucking around!  They still hadn’t released a solid time frame, how it was going to go live, etc.  Just that date with the vaguest of responses of “Tuesday Morning.”  Odd, but whatever, let’s keep going and see where the “Flaws are beautiful as long as you’re a size zero” retailer was going with this.OH SHIT, SON! This is happening!  Better start monitoring their website, you know, the logical place to keep refreshing considering this is a BUSINESS who wants to generate traffic to their BUSINESS SITE to do BUSINESS, right? I mean, that only makes sense that you would use social media to hype a product you will be releasing to the masses on your website made for BUSINESS STUFF!!… I mean, right?!

This is a key point in why all of this was a huge-fucking-scam.  Oops, spoilers: nobody but the elite got one, but this has to be mentioned to give a greater sense of how despicable this entire ordeal was.  Urban Outfitters website requires you to buy something before inputting your credit card.  I’m not making that up.  There is NO option to just input a card for future use.  You have to put something in your cart, checkout and then put your debit/credit card in and THEN hit “save for later.”  So I had to place an order just to ready myself for this time waster.

So, with…who KNOWS how many people hammering their webpage, hoping to snatch up one of those almost mythic NES Classics a frustration started to set in.  Midnight rolled around and nothing, then 1am and still nothing.  2am turned into 3am into 4am.  All and still nothing.  Apparently, the “Trying way too hard to appeal to millennials like a creepy uncle who won’t stop asking you if you need someone to buy you K2” really meant morning, like normal people morning.  6am, 7am, 8am…nothing.  Until 10:30amEST time when nothing happened on their BUSINESS website, and nothing happened on their Instagram account where it was originally announced.  No, a tweet was EDITED to reveal the link that you could click that would direct you to a hidden product page on their website to buy the NES… That was seriously how this played out.  No marquee on their main page and no updates to all of their other tech, gadget and even GAME related pages of their BUSINESS website.  Just a single tweet with a single link to a hidden page. This is what almost everyone saw when clicking that link:

Word has it that it was all sold out before that link was even published to twitter thanks to their little “VIP” early release that wasn’t mentioned to anyone but their “VIP” members, whoever the fuck they are.  Wanna know who one of those members was? This asshole right here:

Asshole bought 25 of the console because brilliant, flannel, vinyl selling, “Millennials don’t like to be labeled,” Urban-fucking-Outfitters didn’t put a limit on the amount that a single person could buy.  I don’t know what this guys real name is and I don’t fucking care, but for the sake of this rant, His name is hereby Shithead!

Needless to say I immediately tried canceling that forced order because FUCK THAT NOISE!.  Funny story about that; can’t cancel orders.  your only option is to get the order and return it…while paying the shipping to send it back.  What backward-ass, bullshit shit is that!?  Even Mom and Pop stores have better customer service than that garbage!

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Wanna know how this is playing out for the UO so far?   Their own Instagram post is full of rightfully directed venom:

Every post on Facebook has more than one person reaming them for their utter incompetence, bait and switch tactics and complete misinformation that they provided and again, I completely support their anger and feeling of being lied to:

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That is where everything stands.  Urban Outfitters doesn’t give a shit and maintains the same classist hierarchy while trying to appeal to the youth that every other bullshit fashion store does.  They will try to relate to you on a personal level while loathing you and your lack of privilege.  The bourgeoisie and the proletariat live strong in the American plutocracy.

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