How NOT to advertise your wares.

Spread the love

12605624

 

Simply wow!.  You guys are going to love this one.  There are times on the internet that rise above the mundane and ordinary.  Those get into the news maybe, sometimes it spreads across the Twitter or the Facebookz.  But, once in a great while, an event takes place that requires a monument to be erected for it… for all the interwebz to remember it by.  My friends, this is the story of Ocean Marketing and how they became a MEME!

Here is the scenario.  One customer by the name of “Dave” decides to email the PR company responsible for advertising and spreading the word about the “Avenger Controller” by N-control.  Dave is wondering where his, paid in full, controller attachment is since it was promised at the “beginning of December”.  His Email is answered by Paul Christofolo of Ocean Marketing.  The firm tasked with PR of said controller.  Dave asks:

From: Dave
To: Ocean Marketing
Dec 16, 2011, at 1:34 PM

I ordered 2 of the upcoming PS3 controllers (invoice xxxxxxxxx—Nov 3, 2011). Any chance of getting an update of when these items will ship? I’m not really happy about being forced to pay upfront then have the advertised date of “Early December” be completely missed without any sort of update on availability. I really need one of them for a X-mas present as well. Anyways, looking forward to finally using one of these bad boys. Thanks and happy holidays.

-Dave

His reply is simply “December 17th” .. Dave decides to follow up with another question because.. While that is an exact date, doesn’t really say it ships, he’ll get it then, it’s done from manufacturing, is when Jesus is coming back… Dave replies, asking if that was the shipping to him, because he hasn’t gotten an confirmation of shipping. Mr. Christofolo, PR man that he is.  States that they haven’t been shipped from China yet.

This is where things start heading south.  Obviously, Dave… wanting it by Christmas, knows it won’t be happening.. and fires an email back asking if they have an estimation on shipments, specifically to California.  Capt. PR, eager to assist, responds with “wither before or after Christmas” *pokerface blink*.  That’s kindof a given isn’t it?. Notably unhappy with this response, and noticing that on the website where you can pre-order these controllers is now offering a $10 off special for people just now pre-ordering…Dave the Customer sends another email:

From: Dave
To: Ocean Marketing
Dec 26, 2011, at 9:47 AM

I noticed the updated info on the webpage, and I don’t understand why there is absolutely no benefit given to those like me who have already ordered, and paid their money.  You’ve had my money interest free for nearly two months, yet now ANY new order will get $10 off….meaning I should just cancel my order for 2 controllers, get my money back, then re-order.

My other questions is regarding item compatibility.  Ocean Marketing seems to be involved with the Xtendplay controller holder, so I was wondering if the Avenger N-Controller can be used in conjunction with the Xtendplay (for both Xbox and PS3)?  Thanks

LET THE ROID RAGE BEGIN! in a dazzling display of mastery over injectable and PR related MR. Christofolo responds with this:

From: Ocean Marketing 
tommy jonesTo: Dave
Dec 26, 2011 10:14 AM

Yes it can be used with xtend play if you remove the stand and no one is allowed to cancel and re order if we catch anyone doing it we will simply just cancel your order all together and you can buy it retail somewhere else.

Things happen in manufacturing if your unhappy you have 7 days from the day your item ships for a refund. You placed a pre order just like any software title the gets a date moved due to the tweaks and bugs not being worked out and GameStop or any other place holds your cash and im sure you don’t complain to activision or epic games so put on your big boy hat and wait it out like everyone else. The benefit is a token of our appreaciation for everyone no one is special including you or any first time buyer . Feel free to cancel we need the units were back ordered 11,000 units so your 2 will be gone fast. Maybe I’ll put them on eBay for 150.00 myself. Have a good day Dan.

(Note: he didn’t send that picture, I just added for dramatization of what he probably looked like while replaying.)

Needless to say: “Shit just got realz”

As you may guess.  Dave, being a reasonable guy… feels like he probably just got shit on.  His response is long and detailed.  Noting he paid full price 2 months ago, and that this guy is the last person on earth that should be in the PR industry. You know, a whole bunch of obvious stuff.  Super awesome PR ninja Christofolo, with is almost perverse knowledge of public relations and all things Roid based uses his PR kung fu and orchestrates a symphony so breathtaking it brings tears to the very soul.

LOL Thanks for the Free PR I know the Editor N Chief of Kotaku , IGN , Engadget I’ll be meeting them at CES .The noise complaint was for people high up on the food chain in a corporate world of real estate you have no clue about.  Thanks for the Rice Rocket Compliment too love me some motorcycle . Send that over to Engadget you look like a complete moron swearing and sending your customer service complaints to a magazine as if they will post it or even pay attention do you think you’re the first or the last what are they going to do demand us to tell you were your shipment is or ask for a refund on your behalf … Really … Welcome to the Internet ? Son Im 38 I wwebsite as on the internet when you were a sperm in your daddys balls and before it was the internet, thanks for the welcome to message wurd up.  Grow up you look like a complete child bro. I Don’t have my controller so im gonna cry to the world … Really ?? Hey take that free time and do something more productive. All you had to do was check the like everyone else , people have inquired but you’re the douchiest of them all J

To all our pre-order customers looking for information on the status of their orders after a busy couple of months The PS3 Avengers are on their way from our Manufacturing plant overseas. We are aware that everyone is anticipating having their Avengers under their Christmas Tree and were doing our best to get these orders shipped out as fast as possible. We appreciate you as loyal customers and for supporting our company. Customers will start receiving their products this week before Christmas and After Christmas and into the New Year. As a token of our appreciation we are offering all our pre-order customers and new customers 10$ off your next order with us just enter Avenger1001 at Checkout. Thank you and Happy Holidays!

Oh and FYI When a street date gets pushed by a publisher on a video game you pre ordered do you cry to them too ?

You just got told bitch … welcome to the real internet check kotaku in 2 weeks when they are reviewing free PS3 Avengers we send them as well as G4 and all the other majors hell yeah , don’t forget to check Amazon, gamestop.com, play n trade , Myers , Frys and a ton of other local stores coming your way you think you speak for billions son your just a kid you speak for yourself no one cares what you think that’s why were growing and moving 20-50 thousand controllers a month. We do value our customers but sometimes we get children like you we just have to put you in the corner with your im stupid hat on. See you at CES , E3 , Pax East ….? Oh wait you have to ask mom and pa dukes your not an industry professional and you have no money on snap you just got told.

Keep in mind.. He is working for a PR.. Public Relations..company. Where their ENTIRE EXISTENCE is to make sure that their Public Relations for the company they are representing is… “Good”

At this point, Mike Krahulik, Prevair of Penny Arcade and PAX jumps in and starts emailing Ocean Marketing as well.  From here it gets pathetic with Mr. Christofolo, apparently, unable to google Mike’s name and to honestly see that.. yes, he is in fact apart of PAX and Penny Arcade, and starts making fun of him too.

From: Ocean Marketing
To: Mike Krahulik
Dec 26, 2011 at 9:33 PM

OK Mike whatever you say lol , are you sure hour not in Boston I spoke to the person who ran the show in Boston last year. If you let some little kid influence you over a pre order then we don’t want to be a your show ,Ill be on the floor anyway so come find me , I’m born and raised in Boston I know the people who run the city inside and out watch the way you talk to people you never know who they know it’s a small industry and everyone knows everyone. Your acting like a douchbag not that it matters pax east pax west , e3 , CES , Gamer Con , SSXW ,Comic Con, Germany I’m all over the place. If we want to be there we will be there with industry badges or with a booth you think I can’t team up with turtle beach , Callibur or Koy Christmas , I can’t get Kevin Kelly to pull some strings or G4 , Paul Eibler Ex CEO of take 2 ,  Rich Larocco Konami , Cliff Blizinski Epic who were working with on a gears version , Activision who were working with on a MW3 and Spider man Bundle , The Convention Center Owners themselves , Mayor of Boston come on Bud you run a show that’s all you do and lease a center in Cities you have no pull in its all about who you know not what you do.  I’ll see space where ever I want , with who I want when I want and where I want so many ways around you and so many connections in this industry its silly. Anyway , I have no issue with you Sean Buckley Engadget, Scott Lowe IGN and the list goes on and on. Little kids unhappy with a PRE ORDER starting trouble and you email that to us , he’s a customer unless you’re his boyfriend then you should side with the company not the customer. Be Careful

All this was in response to Mike’s Email that said “I am mike krahulik, Pax is my show. Feel free to google me=) I can promise you that you will never have space at any future Pax event.”

It’s a simply amazing event that deserves to be told and retold.. and updated.  Here is the full email back and forth. http://penny-arcade.com/resources/just-wow1.html

But there is an epilogue that follows this.  Some more things have happened outside of this single set of transactions.  The internet got a hold of it and some things have taken place. Kotaku hopped in and asked a couple things, only to find a rabbit hole. Read Kotakus interactions here. 

Basically, Kotaku found that Mr PR Genius rides the ‘roids, can’t spell for shit, (should probably be OceanStrategy.) and likes to trade Tropical Fish.

Over at GeekSystem.com, the found some more information in regard to this incident.  Christofolo, in his never ending pool of humility and empathy, sent Mike of Penny Arcade this touching email to apologize:

Hey Mike,

I just wanted to apologize for the way our emails progressed I didn’t know how big your site was and I really didn’t believe you ran Pax , So for what’s its worth I am very sorry. Your post has obviously made my life very difficult and I have not slept yet dealing with all the spam and personal information intrusion as well as my family being smeared on the internet.

If you can please accept my apology and anything you can do to help if not me my son and wife please do. I have apologized to Dave and apologized to you what else can I do please tell me so I can make things good. I obviously care or I would not be emailing you.

 

*sniffle*. It’s so moving, I mean.. he only mentions how is douchebaggery is hurting him like.. 3 times, I mean.. if only everyone in the world was That compassionate then… the whole world would be the cast of the God Damned Jersey Shore.

Mr. Paul C, after having the entirety of the internet fall on his stupid head, decides to try a couple things to get things smooth over, his first attempt.. Threatening Mike (Gabe) from Penny-arcade with a lawsuit…of… “Noting Douchbaggery when it happens”? I guess.  Gets him no where and genuinely shows how much of a jackass he really is.  The Update is on PennyArcade right here.  Gabe says it best when he states “I think there is a big difference between being sorry and being sorry you got caught.”

Many other game sites which Mr. Christofolo mentioned have denounced him as anything more than an unprofessional POS.

Final_thumb.jpg

 

This is a lesson in Bad PR moves.  BP had better PR then this product.  Which is actually quite sad, the device (Avenger Controller by N-Control.) has been getting decent press without the PR of “Ocean Marketting” because it works well.  Here is a link to the crazy attachment which not only allows for faster response and button pressing, but is great for disabled gamers as well.  Paul Christofolo is a Douche, Plain and simple, he’s the guy you hated in high school that went out of his way, for whatever reason, to make you feel like a  piece of shit, I’m tinkled pink that he fucked up this royally and now the internet has a hold of him.  He deserves everything he’s getting and anyone who says we should just let sleeping dogs lie should be kicked in the Teasack.  There are times when turning the other cheek should only be done when you are ripping a huge fart.

One thought on “How NOT to advertise your wares.”

  1. Seriously epic… you guys have to read this. the Synopsis. Guy emails company with questions on when it will be released. His response? a literal Shitstorm of insults and arrogant ranting. The result? the internet falls on top of him! it’s awesome!

Leave a Reply